Been wanting to put down this entry for the longest of recent times...
Almost wanted to drop it, but someone invoke this feeling in me again, thus i decided to "pen" it down while I am still not "z" monster-inclined....
Since young, I always had this thinking, this innocent thought, that love is a very simple affair.
A guy meets a girl, they spend lots of time together, happy times, they understand each other, almost telepathic, they fallen in love.
Thats it, thats how it was "to be".
As you grow older, lots of things starts to change.
Attempts at r/ships failed one after the other.
After ZR, i had a few more r/ships.
None last.
Of all the ones that past me by, I only regretted about Gloria.
she's a good gal.
Cares for me a lot, concern for me a lot, give in to me.
Of course there were flaws, but it was nothing compared to what she meant to me (after I lost her that is...).
I never treated her well at the start, when I began to treat her better, really love her, starting to shower with love, all became too late... she left...
Humans are like that.
Only treasuring something after they had lost it.
My friend told me , good things don't come easy, if it comes easy, you won't cherish it.
True.
This is what i been telling myself, "learn to cherish before it gets too late!"
But looks like I am having this so-called retributions....
My last ex, didn't cherish me.... giving me all the colds after a week of r/ship... a WEEK! 1 FUCKING WEEK! Can you believe it ?
After some time, she came back to me, asking for a chance....
Isnt this a classic case of "treasuring something after you had lost it?"
The current one ? She treat me like shit.
Said she likes me, but i doubt so... more like I am the backup, the one that will be there for her.... if her priority fails, there's always me. =)
I wanna give up really... Mind is telling me the realistic thing but heart tells me other wise.
I will try to give up and forget i think.... cause I really cant stand it when people bo-chup me...
Friends tells me i treat people too good, too kind... thats why I am easily played with... too gullible... hahaha... ya, i agreed... I am just too used to being the foolish one.
To that gal although she will never see it -
" I ever told you that I can always try, I can always attempt. But once I reach my threshold, I will give up. I think my threshold been reached. I am giving up. It hurts. The way you treating me. The way you bo chup me. The way you said you don't like me. The way you insulted me. I can be good to you, always treating you like my precious baby, but somethings will end when you don't cherish them, this is one of the thing.
Maybe you will realised my absence after some time, but more likely, you wont missed it at all, maybe at times, whereby you will think "where's that dumb ass who will take me to movie, eat at restaurants, fetch me and send me home any time of the day, been to ?" think that's my only usage...
I am sorry, but i am retiring from service.... good bye...."
