It's getting harder and harder to breathe....

Watch the village yesterday! very nice story IMO.... but a bit selfish i feel.... for the goodness of human kind and the ideal lifestyle..... they were seperated from present time..... living in the old 18th, 19th century English way..... omg.... but really a new kinda plot !!! 4/5!

Didn't really do much today..... except that I slept alot... these few days I slept a lot.... had no idea why too...

Was coming home from Clementi.
Bought a fish from C328.
On the journey home, I was listening to this new Maroon 5 disc titled "Songs about Jane" and the first track, Harder to Breathe...
There's a part of the lyrics that revolves around my head non-stop.... it goes like this..

Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe..

I had fuck up my own life on a few occasions...... a major one which was gambling... which i manage to curb down in a very major way... you just gotten learn sometimes...... another two in love... maybe i shouldn't have insist on breaking up with shan back them... i shld just tried to forgive and forgot.... maybe i shld have just tried harder and not tried to cover up my gambling habits..... if i only learnt then.... rong wouldnt had left me....

Right now.... $$$ is always a prob... just had sufficient for each month.... if no one comes after me that is...... pay bank... pay friend.. left peanuts... as for love? well I cant recognise the feeling anymore... so might as well save myself and others the trouble ya! :)

I had always imagine and live in regrets of the perfect scenario... me not owing any money..... and rong still with me.... and with my pay... i can easily afford the kinda life i wanted..... but wat had i achieved up till this stage of my life?????? I wanna proudly say I had achieve something..... but sadly....... none..... i just fuck myself up.....

i wanna say sorry to everyone..... to friends who i neglected and gotten them into trouble.... to all my ex for letting you girls down... to my deceased dad for letting you down... this is nv wat u wanted me to become... and it was just the right move that you left $$ for mum and sis instead of me.... i would just squander them away somehow ...... some way.... and sorry to mum.... for letting you suffer with me.....

dunno wat comes over me... but i believe the song was a major influence..... well.... i still have some months to pass b4 life gets back to normal.... although i know you can fall no more when u r already at the pit...... but this kinda of life just sux.......

*backs to listening to maroon 5*