titleless...

Just back from run... it was tiring... i was happy with the result though, it was just one of those "warm-up" runs that i need to start my ippt training! trying to get gold on my first attempt.

I like to run. Running freshens me up, sobers me up... especially in times of uncertainty, at times that i don't know what to do... like...now?

in terms of relationship, i had to admit that i handled it poorly... i though i know what i was doing but in fact i wasn't.... in terms of r/ship matters, sad to say i am not responsible enough... i never wish for things to turn out like that but it wasnt within my control...
i hate myself for doing this....
even today, the whole day, i was thinking of ways , reasons and excuses to pardon myself... but i found none.....
i am sorry but i never meant to hurt you... never... you deserve something better... not someone like me...

Somethings are not easily forgotten, i dont choose for things to happen, it just happen..... it came back to me always, over and over again, i am going through a cycle, a retribution of sorts, experiencing the same pain and sadness over and over again and again and i had to involve you sorry.....

i havent found an answer yet.... i am still finding.... searching..... can i find one that is good enough for the both of us? i don't know..... would it be the best if it was for the best of you? or me? or us?
i had to think somemore..... i dunno how long but i will try..... i cant give u an answer about how long it will take....

sorry.....