A new year, a new start.

First of all, I wish a Happy New Year to all my friends! May you taste success in whatever you do! And if ever there's any failure, learn your lessons from it!

Well my transition from 2003 to 2004 was spent in my workplace... no countdown no nuts.

I did a small test on new year eve. A test to see whether that gang of friends had really forgotten about me. The cruel truth... they did... we are no longer that close anymore... They chose my ex and her bf over me... well, quite expected I would say, better not to have me around to grumble and make the whole scene awkward.. well, i dun really have much friends sad to say... at least i am not those that people would ask to hang out with... i am not just that kinda person.. i admit... if not how come no one jio me out on xmas/new year? a small test that goes on to show alot.. well, sis say one is true la, friends dun need a lot, a few good one would do.

2003 would forever be a year for me to remember, the hardest and most heart-breaking year to go through... Rong left me in Feb'03... I used most of 2003 to pay my debt, well, sorta finish now... left a bit more to go.. dad got cancer.. sis got married... anything else? nothing..... a few events but they left scars on me...

lets hope 2004 to be much better.
ok, as usual , i've made some resolutions.

RESOLUTION 2004
1. Pass my M2 which is my Intermediate Level Malay Exam.
2. Run 42km Singapore Standard Charter Marathon.
3. Debt-free!
4. Learn Thai?
5. Class 3 License.
6. Learn Guitar/Drum.
7. Less MC!!!
8. IPPT Gold + Marksman (As always)
9. Class 2B license.
10. Travel to Sibu Island / Pulau Redang / Langkawi.
11. Go see dentist half-yearly.
12. Gain Weight! Target is 75kg?
13. Attend photography courses?
14. finish my personal project for her...
15. keep to my promises, make them only if i can do it..
16. Learn Akido?
17. Learn to cook more dishes.

So far is like that la. If got more I add later loh.

hmmm, ya, i also tot about another thing. about who i hold dear.
hmmm, in the list there is ah gu, donny, min, lx, von, derong, zhirong, ming zai, weida and joey. (my mum, dad is confirm one).

these are the people i would stand by to.
and nv ever ps.

i was listening to this song i'll stand by you by the pretenders while i on my way back home from work today, and it invokes a lot of me, this song always remind me of rong, of how much i treasure her...

OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

well, i will standby the people i treasure and love... guessed that's all ba.

these few days just work loh... nothing special.
went bballing on new year day.

not a really pleasant day... partly due to my own lack of sleep.
also becos i hate the way some people only wanna play with good players... ok loh, i am a fuck up player ... so wat? why need to be so choosy among friends? for wat fuck?

then ying came to ccc. ok loh, the arguement was nothing, but still kinda strange, dunno wat to say to her.... and somemore i was sitting so far loh, right from the beginning... if i suddenly move there, quite weird right?

then i feel sian and lethargy... almost dun even want go eat... but ah gu pull me along ... wat to do? bro ask, gotta giv face.

these few nights been dreaming about her.... gotta control myself liao... before i go mad or go back to that stupid stage again, gotta watch out!!!

ok la, that's all.. till i update again! *ciaoz*

Runaway Train by Soul Asylum

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

CHORUS

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

PS :

these para was the most heart-felt ....

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

that's wat i really felt... make too many wrong decisions... broke too many promises... in too deep, no way out.... brought myself the shits.....