November 2003 Archives

Shack out after duty...

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Just ended my sat guard duty.... reach home.... resting for a while.... gonna work in the noon again.... will be a shack few days man.....

these few days i been thinking about her again...... did i stop loving her? can i stop? can i forget? how???

kept asking myself all these.........

in the end i decided on something...... i will just carry on loving her as long as my heart wanted to... i wont force it on her, or try to woo her back or something, especially not when she have a bf.

as long as i know she's in my heart, i shld be happy. i will be there when she needs me but i wont look for her when i need her, it just aint appropriate....

we were together on the 3/3/2001 and we broke on the 17/2/2003.
I had continue to love her for 10 mths and 2 weeks since the break up... and i am counting on.......

Pisces man and Aquarius Woman

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PISCES MAN


He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can
have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at
work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to
understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice what
kind of moods he is in.

(true true, my periods are very irregular.....)

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal
gestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talk
about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what
you are thinking about.

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important
secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. He is
not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society.
Wealth
does not drawn his attention,
because he is not greedy man and as well he
thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless
about his future.
He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead
following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to
take an easy path, which cause him very unsteady future.

(I nv forget my angers and loves.... probably that's what make me so painful sometimes.... and i do agreed that money is not something that will last... i like the easy way out sometimes and that caused me lots of probs.... learning to do things the right way now)

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules
and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and
can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a
beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is
cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.

(ya i am aggressive when mad!!!! ask xuemin loh, she know.
I live in my own world now.... cos the world is just not what i make it out or expected to be....... i may nv get out......)

His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He can
tease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad,
he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or
depress. He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those
who need friend or lonely.

(some call it funny, some call it lame, watever...... i do try to help anyone whenever i can whenever they need a friend or a shoulder to cry on)

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a
chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it
work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other
important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity.

He can be happy and content by himself. What he think is important is not
"Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

(i used to believe 101% in love...... now ??? ZERO %..... )

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you,
he wants to be happy. He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to
take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not
to disturb him.

He is a sensitive, quiet , shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He
can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person
again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he
will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his
friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or
else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman
walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like
to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you
have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smart
woman. If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that
special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to
over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all
the time too.

All in bold are quite true about me.


And for a special person in my heart who i can never ever forget.... and nv did stop loving....

AQUARIUS WOMAN


If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy
or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to
a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her
life, a very strong person indeed.

(true about her...)

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such
person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do.
She is a leader , a real confident type.

She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door
herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time,
and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask
you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks
it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a
chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction,
but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring
type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same
society.
She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.

Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up
with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and
agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person
again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word
"Love".

(just like how she got a new bf in 2 mths.... wat am i > )

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if
you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She
loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the
same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.

She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her
win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight
forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you
straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she
say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.

She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will
survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly
take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not
have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she
is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes
that.

You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her
will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she
is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she
likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.

She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do.
If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will
just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long
she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a
"Working Woman" then you will be OK.

If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will
last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of
"pay Back" time.
Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in
fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she
really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and
will never bored you.
Understand that sometimes she will be over confident
and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

wat's bold are i wat i knew that are true of her.

Fishes and Photography, wat else?? (ponders)

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hmmmmmm, been 3 days since i last blog le....
anyway was visiting the blogs of whoever that is in my list, you all also seldom update hor.... tsk tsk tsk... so NUA!!!! *lol*

hmmmmm, wat had i been doing this few days?
Some more significant things
~bought 2 convict cichlids.

~repaired my gallery
~uploaded 2 new photos that i took. can go my gallery to check them out.

nothing much loh as you can see.... cos all work and no play makes Sam a dull boy.... haha

I not gonna have any off till next thursday man..... tmr got 8-5, sat got guard duty, sun and weds work work and more work loh... nvm, i am now trying to cultivate a good working mentality and attitude! *perserverence*

Anyway was thinking about something.
Rank really matters in the SAF.... I tried to T LOAN some shit but cant, the MSG told me got security implications.... my OC go borrow, no prob...... WTH?

Anyway don't really care la, just take good care of my own matters i more than happy le.

Ya, working on the new bball channel webpage as well! hope to settle everything, good and bad asap! lol

that's all ba I supppose...

PS : The most beautiful love is found in memories, when you can't let go, you can't move on.....


Paintings In My Mind by TOMMY PAGE

Picture this, you and me
Walking down a white sand beach
We're holding hands, the warm wind blow
We're all alone
All these dreams are fantasies
They're not real, not reality
And now I cry over you, nearly die over you
And all the bits and pieces of us that I try to find

Chorus:
Are only paintings in my mind
Faded memories of another place and time
We were happy as can be
You were loving me
And now it's just an image that I find
Like the paintings in my mind

When you left, I fell apart
I was torn, you broke my heart
And now I cry over you, nearly die over you
And all the bits and pieces of us that I try to find

Impressions of the way it was
Long ago, somewhere back in time

back after a month

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Am finally back online after a month! phew!!!!! (wipes away the sweat)
So wat happen during this month??? nothing much la, or maybe i nv take note of it.

but i realised i sleep earlier and always gets to work on time more often compared to when i had the power of the internet. *lol*

ok la, left a few things to settle liao.

~DONE~
-got my new telephone line, relocated the ADSL to it.
-terminate Cable TV which was under my sister's name.

~NEXT TO BE SETTLE~
-financial shit
-hwz mess
-room decor

that shld be all la. hate to owe people stuff or drag people down....
ya am currently creating my resolution for next yr as well! hahaha.

was reading alex and gene's blog just now... I wanna go Redang next year! been a long time since i last went out of singapura.

"Saya nak melancong negara asing!"

Anyway during these time that i dun have my internet, i really thank andrew, alex, donny and minny for keeping me company. especially donny and minny for all the late nights!

Recently I also came to realise xian mei make a good friend! lol. like how she accompanied me to orchard to makan (free tasting of ice cream! and shakes!) and gai gai! lol
Ya, saw this pink shirt when i went with her to 37 degrees! gonna buy it next month if it still hangs there and wait for me.
but at least i got my photo-folder that day! finally something to hold my precious works!

ok la, enugh of craps le....

I changed le, changed a lot le..... in small ways, not many will notice, but i sure did.

hmmmm, wat more?

ya, my gallery again down for no apparent reason... wth?
gonna update a few page tmr, will update here.

anything more? shldnt be la...... crapz.... nitez... ha...

PS : was talking to a friend last night, she got some prob. to her if you are reading this.
you got me as your friend and you know you can have my shoulder whenever u need it, this is a big big decision, so decide with care.
need anyone to talk to? call me... any day, any time, any place. Sam kor will be here. ;)


Found this with Dreamland's help


The name of Samuel has given you a strong desire for success and all the amenities of affluence. You pursue your undertakings on a grand scale, based on your business acumen and ability to visualize an overall plan. Your enthusiasm, aggressiveness, and salesmanship are often sufficient to bring about fulfillment of your ambitions. However, in the attempt to impress others with the scope of your success, you can over-extend your resources too.
There are times when you would be advised to start in a smaller way, and gradually reach your desired level of success through perseverance, patience, and attention to details. When things are going well, you have a generous, magnanimous nature, ready to offer support and assistance to others.


Afterlife as an Angel by childdoll
Your Name
Astrological Sign
Angel TypeAngel of Inspiration
Wing ColorSilver
Heavenly WeaponBlasts of holy light
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

overflowed with feelings....

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Just reached home. Went pak ball loh at TCC then went to Holiday Home KTV to celebrate JiaQing and SK?s birthday, after which went Lau Pa Sat to makan.

Don?t feel good at all today??. Heard something that I never expected and thought of a lot of things?.

Suddenly I come to believe that all good things will and do eventually come to an end.

I had this feeling that this group of friends of mine will eventually be broken up one of these days to come?. It makes me sad to even think about it?.. I always treasure the relationship I had with these group of guys and gals?. To me it ain?t ever easy for a group of people from all walks of life to be so good and so comfortable with each other?. But I feel that it would end soon with new people joining the group, new people who started out with very different intentions and very different roles? I hate office politics and I hate it when my group gets contaminated by it?..

I was at the ktv, singing songs ?.. or should I say listening to songs?.. it brings a lot of memories back to me, memories that I loved and hated?.

It had been 9 months since my relationship with Joey ended and I realised how much of a person I had changed?. Maybe not in my appearance but emotionally?

I used to be someone who believes in love, in friends?.. now I don?t trust love anymore, friends I do but a few. Love used to be such a beautiful thing, it used to be a fairy tale, a serenade but now it seems far-fetched, I am afraid of it?.

These many months, I knew a lot of new friends, some of them gals, there are some who are really really nice, who would definitely had fancied the old me?. But now? Not anymore?.

I don?t dare to love? or should I rather say to take up the responsibility of having a girlfriend, or to face the consequences of life after a failed BGR?
I had come to believe that it is best for me to remain single, to be single. I just can?t trust another relationship anymore?. I still remembered that I made one statement just now that the old me would never had made?

?If I ever smoke and my gf-to-be don?t agree on it, I rather not have her as my gf?.?

The old me would had change myself to suit my other half?.. the new me? Wont? I don?t know why either, just that I suddenly become like that?

Right now, I wanna be carefree, to be feel of responsibility.

I wont wanna sign on forever, one day I am gonna quit my job and be a photographer, to do something I like and wanna do. I wanna save enough money and go travel around the world on backpack. I don?t wanna slog out my life, I wanna live a life, not work out a whole lifetime?

I just wanna have friends now ?.. and I am contented to live with being just friends and nothing more ?.. it will be better for anyone to be just friends with me, then to take the relationship one step further?.

If there was ever gonna be someone who could change the way I believe in love, she would have to be someone who can love me for whatever I am, for whatever state I may become, if not, she would just be another one who hurt me and love me for other things except me?.

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